


Guess Who

by ShowMeAHero



Series: Swing Life Away [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Domestic, Domestic Avengers, F/M, Family, Fluff, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Prompt Fill, and natasha helps clean up the mess, but not really since they're just kind of discussing having a kid, domestic argument, in which steve and bucky are silly idiots who get in an argument, kinda kidfic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 15:06:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1783354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShowMeAHero/pseuds/ShowMeAHero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky and Steve have an argument that's really just a misunderstanding, Natasha helps to clear everything up, and everything always works out for these two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guess Who

**Author's Note:**

> [Lauryn](http://ahwuhoo.tumblr.com/), who prompted: "SORRY BUT IMAGINE BUCKY SENDING NATASHA [THIS](https://31.media.tumblr.com/2b9da31e98903805bfd55f5efd498e2b/tumblr_n75i69cycZ1qg1ngpo1_500.png) TEXT AFTER HIM AND STEVE ARGUE."
> 
> I had to.

Steve laughed when Bucky tugged his shirt off, getting Steve’s head stuck in it as a result. He reached up and helped Bucky tug it off, then pressed them together again, kissing Bucky again roughly. Bucky tossed Steve’s shirt to the side, grinning when it landed on top of a lamp. Steve laughed again at Bucky’s smile, and held onto Bucky’s wrists when Bucky walked him backwards to their bed. Steve tripped backwards and landed on the mattress, bouncing and laughing uncontrollably when Bucky jumped on top of him.

“You look beautiful tonight,” Bucky said, injecting as much charm into his voice as he could. Steve shook his head, smiling.

“I bet you say that to all the dames,” Steve replied, turning his face into the mattress. Bucky grabbed his wrists and tugged them above his head, then leaned down, pressing kisses to Steve’s neck. Steve squirmed, his skin reddening as he blushed.

“Only the _real_ pretty ones,” Bucky teased, nosing along Steve’s throat. He sat up, releasing Steve’s wrists as he straddled his hips. He set to work on undoing his pants, then Steve’s, popping the buttons on both. “You wanna pitch or catch?”

“Classy,” Steve said. Bucky gave him a shit-eating grin, and Steve smacked his arm. “Don’t be vulgar.”

“I’m insulted by your insinuations, Mr. Rogers.” Bucky play-acted at being offended, turning his face away. Steve stretched up, reaching for Bucky’s face, tugging him down to press another kiss to Bucky’s lips. Bucky smiled into it.

“I’ll catch,” Steve answered when Bucky pulled back. Bucky raised himself up from Steve, pulling his pants off, then Steve’s.

“Sounds like a plan,” Bucky replied, reaching past Steve to their nightstand, rooting around in the drawer for the lube. He tossed it back to Steve, who caught the tube one-handed. Bucky kept searching, then held up a foil condom packet with his metal hand. “Condom?”

“I think we’re alright,” Steve said, scooting backwards until his head was on one of the pillows. “You’re clean, I’m clean. It’s not like you can get me pregnant.”

“Not that I’d want to anyways,” Bucky joked, tossing the condom back into the drawer and shoving the drawer shut. Steve frowned at him and sat up.

“What do you mean?” Steve asked, and Bucky raised an eyebrow at him as he sat back on the bed.

“I mean… Jesus, Steve, what kind of conversation are you aiming for here?” Bucky rubbed at the back of his neck. Steve looked down at his hands.

“I just mean… I thought, maybe, you know, one day, or something,” Steve said, suddenly feeling awkward. Bucky felt his own face heat up.

“Steve, you can’t honestly think having a baby would be a good idea,” Bucky remarked. “Have you _met_ us? We’re not exactly parent material.”

“What do you mean?” Steve asked, glancing up to look Bucky in the eyes. Bucky nearly flinched at the tearful expression on his face.

“I mean, look at us. I’m an _ex-assassin_ , Steve. I can barely take care of our _dog_.” He waved his metal arm. “I could _crush_ a kid with this. And _you_ -”

“What about me?”

Bucky paused, looking Steve over. In all honesty, Steve would be a great father, but Bucky was getting too worked up now to agree with him.

“You’re in the public eye, you’re constantly putting yourself in danger,” Bucky pointed out. “You’d put a _kid_ in danger just having them around. You’re so strong, too, Steve, you would-”

“Stop,” Steve interrupted, rubbing at his face. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Bucky, just-” Steve stopped, shaking his head. He stood from the bed, pulling his pants back on. Bucky sighed.

“Steve-”

“Don’t,” Steve snapped. “Just don’t. I don’t want to do this right now, okay?” He sighed, buttoning his pants. “I can’t believe- _Damnit_ , Buck, I thought-” He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter what I thought. I’m just going to-” Steve gestured to the door, not meeting Bucky’s eye. “I’m going to go grab a coffee. I’ll be back.”

“Wait, Steve, c’mon,” Bucky pleaded, but Steve grabbed his keys and was out the front door of their apartment, letting it slam shut behind him. Bucky sighed, leaning back in bed and pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. He grabbed his phone off the bedside table and turned it on, then shot off a text to Natasha.

 _Guess who didn’t get any_ , he typed out, then sent. His phone chirped a moment later.

 _I guess you_ , the reply said, and Bucky almost wanted to laugh. He sighed instead.

 _Oooh gd guess_ , he sent back, his metal hand fumbling on the second word, and he dropped his phone onto his chest. It vibrated two minutes later, and he lifted his head to look at it.

 _I’ll be there in a minute_ , Natasha’s reply said. Bucky dropped his phone onto the bedside table and pressed his palms against his face. Sure enough, eight minutes later, the front door opened, and Bucky sat up just as Natasha entered the bedroom.

“You couldn’t’ve put pants on?” Natasha asked, scowling. Bucky leaned over the edge of the bed and grabbed his pants, standing and tugging them on. Natasha threw a takeout bag at him, and Bucky pulled out a greasy burger in stained wrap paper. The two of them sat back down on the bed and ate the fast food in silence for a little while.

Eventually, Natasha broke the silence. “So…” she said, examining the French fry in her hand. She glanced up at Bucky. “What’d you do?”

“What makes you think _I_ did something wrong?” Bucky asked, scowling. Natasha popped the French fry in her mouth.

“Because Steve left,” Natasha explained. “If it was him, he would’ve stayed, tried to fix it. If it was both of you, you would’ve fought until you realized you were _both_ idiots, and then you probably would’ve fucked each other’s brains out.” Natasha picked up her chicken sandwich again and took a large bite. “So, by process of elimination, that leaves _you_ as the fuck-up,” Natasha said, her mouth full.

Bucky rolled his eyes. Natasha raised an eyebrow.

“Am I wrong?” Natasha asked. Bucky hesitated, then shook his head, dropping his gaze down to his own burger. “Thought so. What’d you do?”

“Said I didn’t want to have kids,” Bucky told her. Natasha motioned for him to continue, and Bucky sighed heavily. “We were about to…” Bucky gestured with his hand. Natasha wrinkled her nose. “Yeah. And we were joking around, and I said we shouldn’t have kids, and I might’ve implied he’d be a bad father.”

“How does that even happen when you’re fooling around, Barnes?” Natasha inquired, trying not to smile and failing. Bucky threw a pickle slice at her; she caught it in her mouth. “You are one serious fuck-up, my friend. Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s _true_ ,” Bucky exclaimed. Natasha raised her eyebrow again.

“It’s not true, and you know it,” Natasha argued. “You’re just afraid, and I _know_ you’re afraid. But you’ve known Steve longer than anybody else. You were his best friend, for God’s sake, you kept him alive when he was eight pounds, and now you get to marry the guy. For some godforsaken reason, he _wants_ to have your scrawny little murderer babies. And you’re gonna tell him he can’t have kids?” Natasha shook her head and leaned back against the headboard of the bed.

“I didn’t tell him he can’t have kids, I told him _we_ shouldn’t have kids,” Bucky clarified. Natasha laughed.

“That’s the same thing,” Natasha said, pointing at him with her chicken sandwich. “You know he wouldn’t leave you. Ever. For _anything_.” She took another bite. “He loves you. You should both stop being idiots and have a baby, for God’s sake.”

“There’s a million reasons not to do that,” Bucky reminded her. Natasha ate the last of her chicken sandwich, cleaned her hands on a napkin, then grabbed Bucky’s phone and brought up the lock screen. She turned it to show him - a picture of him and Steve, the two of them grinning at the camera, their arms thrown around each other, a puzzle abandoned on the table in front of them.

“And there’s your one reason to do it that’s better than all of the reasons not to.” Natasha set the phone down on the bed. “Barnes, you’re afraid. I get it, I do.” Natasha reached up, subconsciously twirling her arrow necklace. “But you have a man who loves you. He wants to have a _family_ with you. Don’t be an idiot.”

Bucky sighed, setting down the last of his burger. “I guess I am being an idiot.”

“You guess?” Natasha scoffed, stealing his burger and finishing it off. Bucky flipped her off with a metal finger and picked up his phone, unlocking it and calling Steve. Natasha leaned back, shoving French fries in her mouth while Bucky waited for Steve to answer.

“Hey, Steve,” Bucky said suddenly. Natasha smiled at him. “Yeah. Yeah, I know, I’m…” Bucky paused, listening. “No, no, _I’m_ sorry. I didn’t…” Bucky paused again. “I love you, too. Listen, Steve I…” Bucky blew out a harsh breath. “We can talk about it. Having kids, you know.” Natasha grinned widely. Bucky tried not to smile and failed, and shoved Natasha off the bed as punishment. “Yeah. Listen, can you… Do you want to come back home?” Bucky listened again, then smiled. “Yeah, okay, I’ll see you soon. I love you. Yeah. Yeah, alright, bye.” Bucky hung up and put the phone on the bedside table, then slid off the bed, gathering the takeout wrappers and stuffing them in the big bag.

“Hey, here’s your hat, what’s your hurry?” Natasha laughed. Bucky shoved the bag into her hands.

“He’s coming back, you gotta go,” Bucky explained. He handed Natasha her shoes and led her to the front door. He pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Thanks for everything.”

“You better name that damn kid after me,” Natasha called over her shoulder as she stepped lightly down the hallway, disappearing into the elevator. Bucky shook his head, leaning in the open front door, waiting for Steve to return. When he did, he nearly tackled Bucky to the ground, running into him as fast and as hard as he did.

“I’m so sorry, Steve,” Bucky apologized, pressing his face into Steve’s neck. Steve hugged him tightly, kicking the front door shut behind them.

“It’s okay, Buck,” Steve murmured. He shoved Bucky backwards until they were back in their bedroom, and then he pushed him down on the bed. “Did you mean what you said? Earlier, on the phone… About-”

“Yeah,” Bucky interrupted, nodding. “Yeah, but, listen, can we talk about it in the morning? It’s way more of a discussion than I can handle right now.”

“Sure thing,” Steve agreed, straddling Bucky on the bed, leaning down to kiss along Bucky’s jawline. “I think I’m gonna pitch now, though, if that’s alright.”

“Fine by me,” Bucky said, leaning back on the bed, stretching his arms above his head. “Put a baby in me, Steve Rogers.”

Steve smacked his chest. “I hate you,” Steve laughed, leaning down to kiss him quiet.

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on Twitter at [@nicoIodeon](https://twitter.com/nicoIodeon) or on Tumblr at [andillwriteyouatragedy](http://andillwriteyouatragedy.tumblr.com/).
> 
>  **EDIT:** Yes, this used to be part of the series [The Smithsonian](http://archiveofourown.org/series/94757). This (and the other pieces with their children) were so tonally different that I decided to separate them and put them in their own series. Ta-da! Enjoy.


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